Saturday, 26 April 2014

Boganwood Season 2 Episode 5

Welcome to Boganwood Australia Canberra’s forgotten suburb

In todays adventure we get straight back into the action as Jimbo goes to get his cash, Shiela meets the pleasant Beryl and Dingo and Bricko race off in search of help.

Diesel walked up the road with his bag full of cash.....

Wow, he thought, finally I get some luck instead of those Bogans fucking everything up.
He kept going over all of the problems from earlier that day and it all kept coming back to Dingo, Bricko and Sheila.
Why had he been so stupid to try and get them again ?
But nothing seemed too far out of his grasp with the bag full of money.
He sat down on a bench and looked in the bag.
It was full of cash.
How did Jimbo come across it ? It was only a matter of hours ago that he was at my place Diesel though as started walking again.

Now poor old Diesel has had a rough trot recently so you could excuse him for what he did next…..

He kept thinking of all the things he could do with the cash, I mean it wasn’t like Jimbo was ever going to be able to call the cops on him he thought.

‘Well it’s the least I deserve’ Diesel said as he continued up the road……

Jimbos luck had changed !
Quickly he thought, all I need to do is go and get the cash and I’m sorted.
The plans as it stood was a simple one
* Go and get the Cash
* Get the fuck out of Boganwood forever

All he had to do was going and grab the money off the useless Diesel and pay him a couple of bucks to keep his mouth shut and everything would fall into place.
He turned his car making his way toward Diesels place when he saw him walking up the road.
As he started moving toward him a taxi pulled over and Diesel got in.
‘Better not be using my money’ Jimbo said to no one in particular as he followed the taxi back to Diesels place.
Well that’s what Jimbo thought anyway.
As the taxi pulled up to the turn off to Diesels place it kept going.
‘What the fuck ?’ Jimbo said
‘He better not be doing anything stupid with my cash’ he said again as he continued to follow the taxi, Diesel and most importantly the cash………

Bricko ran up to a phone box and stopped.
‘No more running Diesel’ bricko said ‘Ive got a mate I need a favour from’ he said as he reached for the phone and called the operator.
“Give us some privacy, would ya’ Bricko said as he closed the door behind him.
‘What the fuck !’ Dingo yelled ‘hurry up we need to go and save Sheila’ he continued as he banged and banged on the phone booth.
It was only a small time when Bricko hung up the phone and opened the door.
‘We need about 10 minutes’ Bricko explained ‘Until then let’s go and check out what we are up against’.
 ‘Who did you call?’ Dingo asked Bricko.
‘Just a mate and they will be here to help real soon’ he said as the made their way back to Sheila….

Sheila stared at the old women.
‘I reakon you is fucked in the head’ she said to Beryl staring at her.
‘Why would you say that sweety ?’ beryl responded.
‘Cut the shit Grandma’ Sheila said to Beryl “ I may be a lot of things, but I aint stupid’ she explained.
‘I want my money Sheila ?’ Beryl asked
‘What Fucking money ?’
‘Don’t fuck with me, Im capable of a lot of things and my patience is wearing thin’ beryl explained.
Sheila racked her head trying to figure it out.
“Ive no idea what your talking about’
‘The money from the club, you fucking Bogan !’ Beryl screamed

All of a sudden the realisation of what Beryl was after hit Sheila like a ton of bricks. Now when I say the realisation hit Sheila let me elaborate a wee bit more.
As Sheila didn’t actually know anything about the robbery, other than a couple of blokes had robbed their local pub only moments before they had entered, Sheila didn’t even make that connection as she had come to realisation that Beryl was the grandma from the pub she had met weeks ago. Sheila had placed a connection with Beryl but it wasn’t exactly the right one ……

‘You have the fucking money’ Sheila said
‘What ?’ beryl asked
‘You took the money’ Sheila explained.
‘What ?’
‘Don’t act stupid with me’ Sheila yelled at Beryl.
Pat and Rabbit looked at Beryl.
Beryl looked at Pat and Rabbit.
‘what she talking about Beryl’ Pat asked moving toward Beryl.
‘I have no fucking idea what she is talking about’ Beryl said as she moved backward away from the approaching men.
‘yeah you fucking do’ Sheila explained ‘Her and the manager took it’ Sheila explained not realising what she was saying.
‘And I is pregnant and  stuff…….’ Sheila started on her rant.
‘Just stop’ Beryl said to Pat.
‘None of this makes sense’ Berly said as Sheila kept ranting in the Background
“And then the fucking Diesel the security guard turned up and she made him take us out ……’ Sheila continued her rant.

As Beryl kept speaking
‘Stop now !’ She yelled. Pat and Rabbit stopped.
‘None of this makes sense’ She continued
‘Let’s leave her here and go and talk about it in the other room’ she compromised as both rabbit and Pat followed her out of the room.

Sheila looked around the room, continuing her rant trying to find a way out.
The back door was now deadlocked and that was no longer an option.
She went through the drawer looking for a weapon to use but there was nothing more than a butter knife…… she continued her rant.

She looked around searching and hoping for a way out and that’s when she saw it…..

Beryl calmed the boys down explaining that she had no idea what Sheila was talking about and how stupid the idea was that she would rip them off when she heard……

Jimbo sat in the car watching as Diesel moved along the road in the taxi making his way toward an undisclosed location……….

Dingo and Bricko searched everywhere around the house for a way in and couldn’t find one. The only option was the front door and that’s where Bricko’s plan would come into action. The quietly made their way back to the road and waited as a car pulled. Out of a the car a female started walking toward them waving at Bricko, Bricko Smiled and turned to Dingo.

‘Fuck me Bricko, who is that ?’ he asked as she meet them out the front of Beryl’s house…….

So thats where we leave Boganwood for today, with a range of things about to come to a head.

Come back to find the answers to the questions

* What did Sheila find in the kitchen ?
* Who is the lady helping Dingo and Bricko ?
* Where the fuck is Diesel off too with the cash ?

Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to these and more questions as Season 2 of Boganwood continues and remember what they say in Bogawood…..

‘With the baby bonus, I can buy me a big screen TV’

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Boganwood Season 2 the Audio version

Boganwood Season 2 Episode 4

Welcome to Boganwood Australia Canberra’s forgotten suburb

In today’s adventure we check back in on Sheila she is taken for a ride again but first we should catch up with Jimbo as he runs into a familiar friend

‘Diesel’ Jimbo yelled as he continued to get closer and closer to the police line up front.
‘Diesel’ he yelled again.
See Diesel wasn’t feeling the best, after being rolled by Dingo and Bricko.
He slowly turned his head toward the car and that’s when he saw Jimbo.
‘Jimbo ? Is that you’
‘I need a favour’ Jimbo yelled
‘Nah mate, Im not helping you anymore Im staying out of the shit’ Diesel continued as he made his way up road.
‘Fuck Diesel, what about if you had some of this’ Jimbo called out showing him a wad of cash.
‘What the fuck’ Diesel said as he started making his way toward the car.
‘All this could be yours’ Jimbo continued ‘If you will do me a small favour’ he continued.
The cars moved closer to the police. Jimbo’s car was only about 5 cars away from the line when Diesel reached the door.
‘I need you to take the cash’ Jimbo said.
‘You want me to take the cash?’ Diesel asked
‘Yes fuckstain’ he continued ‘I need you to take the cash and hide it until I get through this police line. After that’s done I will meet you at your place and we can split the money and I know how much is in there’ he said.
Now Diesel wasn’t the brightest cookie in the jar, but hell it was a lot of money he thought as he reached into the car and grab the bag of cash.
Smiling at his new found fortune he turned to Jimbo.
‘Ok mate, meet you at my place’ he said as he started walking back to his house.
Jimbo stared as Diesel walked off contemplating if he made the right choice giving Diesel the money as the line toward the police moved forward again he was now only 4 cars away from a search…….
‘What the fuck do you cunts want ?’ Sheila yelled from the back seat.
‘Shhhhh Sheila’ Pat said as they continued down the road. ‘We have someone that wants to meet you’ he said with a smile on his face.
‘ I aint doing nothing with youse’ she yelled “I am pregnant you dirty bastards, what have I ever dowe to anyone !!’ She continued in typical Sheila fashion raving and ranting as Rabbit and Pat wore the wraith of Sheila.
The car continued down the road as Sheila continued her abuse from the back seat, yelling every obscenity she could think of.
Pat turned to tell her to shut up when Sheila all of a sudden stopped.
‘Jesus Sheila, you took the money, all we want is the money’
‘Don’t know what you talking about’ Sheila said ‘But how’s about you give us a ciggie and I will shut up for youse’ she said.
That’s a great compromise Pat thought to himself as he reached into his pocket and threw her the pack.
Sheila reached into the pack and pulled out a ciggy and the lighter.
‘Now Sheila, not far to go and then when can start on about the money again’
‘I have no idea what your fucking talking about’ She said.
‘Yep we will get to that’ Pat said as they continued their way down the road………..
Dingo and Bricko got into the car with Micko as they made their way to the house.
The house itself wasn’t that far and they sat out the front looking at it trying to work out a plan to get inside and find what they were looking for and that’s when it happened……….
‘Ahhhhhhhh FUCK !’ Pat yelled as Sheila put the hot lighter into his neck.
Rabbit swerved but was able to control the car, that was until Sheila put the light cigarette into his cheek.
Rabbit slammed on the brakes.
Sheila started hitting Pat in the front seat.
She climbed into the front seat and continued punching his
“I’m fucking pregnant you fucks…..’ She yelled as she continued to hit both of with kicks and punches make her way for the door.
Both Rabbit and Pat were caught off guard and in the small enclosed area, they were unable to get control of the now feral Sheila.
Sheila opened the passenger and started to run.
Pat and Rabbit made their way out of the car trying to get control again.
Sheila ran into someones yard banging on the front door…..
“SHEILA !’ A voice yelled as she banged and banged on the door.
‘Help me I’m pregnant’ she yelled !
The front door opened and she barged her way in, locking the door behind her.
‘Thanks heaps lady, I’m pregnant and stuff’ She said.
‘Not a worry lovey’ Beryl smiled ‘I will go and call the cops for you’ she said as she made her way out the door with Sheila following.
‘SHEILA’ Dingo yelled as he saw her run from the car.
Bricko grabbed him and held him down watching as Pat and Rabbit disorientated got out of the car and made their way into the yard.
‘wait a sec’ bricko yelled ‘This is some weird shit and we need to work out a plan’ he yelled as Dingo continued to thrash……….
‘Beryl hung up the phone’
‘There lovey, all sorted’ She said as she turned to sheila.
‘Would you like a cup of tea’ she said as she made her way to the fridge.
‘How about a fucking beer’ Sheila said.
‘Ok lovey I will just duck out and grab a drink from my fridge outside ‘she said as she unlocked the back door. As beryl unlocked it Pat and rabbit came inside smiling.
‘Where the fuck have you guys been’ Beryl said as Sheila came to the realisation that she was in trouble………
….. Just as Jimbo was making his way to the first police office all of the police raced back to their cars and took off. He laughed in relief as the traffic started to get back underway.
Money then out of town, he said as he turned back towards Diesels place………
Bricko and Dingo sat staring at the house.
They had Sheila.
What the fuck was going on ? They thought.
How they hell were they going to get her ?
What had she done to get into the house and why had Pat and Rabbit just walked in?
‘We can’t just walking in there’ Bricko said as they stared at the house.
Micko had left as soon as the shit hit the fan.
Bricko tried to work out a plan of attack.
They didn’t know what was going on, how where they going to get into the house ?
If they knew who Sheila was they were bound to know who Ding and Bricko were.
‘Ive got an idea’ Bricko said as he started to run up the street.
‘Where are we going’ Dingo yelled “we have to save Sheila’ he continued
“That’s exactly what are going do’ Bricko yelled as he continued up the road.
So thats where we leave Boganwood for today, with Sheila walking into a dangerous situation not realising that she is in far more trouble then she actually thinks.

So come back to find the answers to the questions
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* How nasty is Beryl really ?
* Why are Dingo and Brick running away from the house ?
Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to there questions and and more Season 2 of Boganwood continues and remember what they say in Bogawood…..
You cant live without the 3 B’s Boobs, burnouts and Beer !

Boganwood Season 2 Episode 3

Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberra’s forgotten suburb
In today’s adventure we check back in on the luckiest man alive as he makes his way out of town for good……… the now very wealthy Jimbo.

Jimbo stares at the back of money, very chuffed with himself over his luck !
Finally he thought, I finally got what was coming to me he thought….. how could things get any better ?
He had his money and the furtherest thing from his mind was Sheila, Dingo and Bricko……. And poor old Kazza with his young child.
Jimbo continued down the road and reached over to turn the radio on, he felt good and a bit of Jimmy Barnes would wash down the day in near perfect fashion.
He turned on the radio and was about to push in the cassette tape single he had of ‘Khe San’ when up ahead he spotted a road block with cars lined up being searched by police officers. The radio continued to play as Jimbo moved forward, all he had to do was get through the police and he was home free…… all the money he could want, without the work….. Brilliant he thought with a smile on his face….. He reached back down to push the cassette into the player when he heard the news bulletin……

‘Police are looking for three men that robbed a local club in Canberra today.’ …. ‘
I bet they fucking are’ Jimbo laughed to himself.
‘After about 5pm this afternoon’ the radio continued…. ‘three masked men walked into a club armed and demanding money from the reception and bar staff. ‘
‘Blood amateurs’ he laughed again, making his way up the line getting closer to the police barricade. Jimbo sat smugly moving forward and took a look at the bag in the passenger seat. ‘Should probably get rid of that’ he said aloud as he threw it into the back seat…

‘In their attempt to leave the premises one of the men stumbled and fell into an ATM, injury his leg.’
The radio continues as Jimbo moved another car closer to the cops.
‘The police are on the looking for 3 middle aged males, one with an injured leg and they ask that you do not approach them as they are armed and suspected to be dangerous. They were last seen heading south, in a Holden Commodore…..’

Jimbo looked down at his leg then up at the cops and thought to himself…… they couldn’t be that stupid could they ? He didn’t do anything……. Jimbo had a decision to make….. he was driving a Holden…..But shit they were searching every car, not just holdens……. he also had a busted leg……. And he had a bag full of money in his car……. What the fuck was he going to do ? The car in front of him pulled closer to the line of cops searching the cars as Jimbo sat in the car with a time bomb about to go off……. And that’s when it happened………..

Dingo and Bricko made their way over to a mates place to get some weed not giving any passing thought to the situation that was happening with Sheila and poor old Jimbo…. What did they know ? When they had left Sheila she was sitting in the back yard waiting on her men to return with some more dope…… and lets face it…. No one really thought about Jimbo unless he was harassing them. They continued up the path moving closer and closer to their friends house.

‘What a fucking day’ Dingo said to Bricko.
‘Yeah Mate, I have to admit…. With the amount of work we did today it would have been easier just to get a fucking job….’ He said back to Dingo..
Dingo laughed and they both looked at each other…..
‘Nah fuck that for a joke’ they both said at the same time laughing ……
They continued up the road and made their way to their mates house, recapping the crap they had gone through and how their Bogan luck had kicked in again.
‘Hey mate, what did you say to the Centrelink bloke ?’ Dingo asked Bricko.
‘Sheila said you was talking to him and she couldn’t hear ya, he went white and next thing you knew the cheque was on its way’
‘Mate’ Bricko responded ‘Sometimes there are things are best to remain unsaid’ he laughed….’ But someday I may tell you…..’ he laughed as Dingo made his way up to the door of their mate.
Dingo knocked on the door….
‘Who the fuck is it’ a voice yelled from the door
‘Micko you drunken Giraffe, Open the fucking door’ Dingo yelled.
Micko opened the door a crack and stared out….’Ah fuck me, you skinny bogan cunt how the fuck are ya ?’ he said as he opened it wide and shook his hand….. ‘My best customers, Sheilas own little fucking lap dogs’ he laughed….. ‘Hey, he might be, but I aint’ Bricko clarified….’Mate, We are all Sheila’s fucking lapdogs’ Micko laughed and Brick and Dingo joined in.
“What can I do you guys for ?’ Micko asked.
‘Mate we need a taste of your old tomato plant if you would be so kind…’ Dingo said.
‘Mate what would you like it laced with ?’ Micko asked
‘I will take it straight’ Dingo responded
‘The same way he takes him men’ bricko laughed with Micko joining in.
‘Sheilas fucking pregnant and we want to be careful’ Dingo responded in a snarking way.
‘yeah mate, I understand’ Micko said… ‘but we have a wee bit of a problem with that order, I’m sorry’……

……The car in front of him moved forward as Jimbo moved closer and closer to the line of cars and Jimbo was fucked…. And not in the good way……

…. The postman walked closed to Sheila ‘What the fuck ? Did the postman finally decide to bring my Centrelink cheque’ she said as the figure moved closer. He was only metre away when she noticed that he had something in his hand……..

‘What do you mean your out of standard shit’ Dingo looked shockingly at Micko….
‘Mate, I don’t mean to be a dick about your misses but since she has gotten ‘Pregnant’ she has been in and out of this place every day buying up my stock’
‘Fucking Sheila’ Dingo said…. But lets face it he wasn’t surprised really….

‘Well mate, Im sorry but I can get you a cheap gram of coke or something’ Micko tried to counter deal….

‘What do I look like to you ?’ Dingo asked ‘A drug fucked loser ?’ Dingo continued….. ‘I have fucking standard you know mate and I don’t touch that shit’ he yelled at Micko.
‘I don’t mean any offense by it’ Micko back pedalled….

‘What if I gave you the location of a place to get some plants ?’ Micko asked
‘How far is it’ Dingo asked
‘Well it aint far from the address, but Im not sure of anything else it was given to me by a another mate and I haven’t had a chance to check it out’ he said.
‘And where is this so called place ?’ Dingo asked with Bricko listening intently……

….. Sheila its time we had a chat the postman said as he moved closer.
‘I have someone that would like to talk to you’ he said as Rabbit moved behind her and grabbed her from behind.
‘Get your fucking hands off me you rapey cunt’ Sheila yelled !

….. Jimbo stared at the cops out the window… he had to think quick….. what could he do ? The cops were moving closer and he needed to get out of this situation and quickly. He looked to the left and spotted someone he didn’t think he would ever see again……

So that’s where we leave everyone’s favourite bogans for this week as they go about their own business trying to work through their problems in an attempt to get back to the game of Goon Roulette……oh yeah and a lovely little bong hit……

So come back to Boganwood to find the answer to the questions

* What will happen to Sheila ?
* Shouldn’t someone tell Bricko and Dingo that Sheilas in trouble ?
* And who the fuck did Jimbo see ??
All this and more will be answered in the next episodes of Boganwood Season 2 and remember what they say in Boganwood……

‘Fair suck of the old sav, mate where’s my fucking tinnie ?’

Boganwood Season 2 Episode 2

Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberras forgotten suburb.
In todays adventure we check back in on Sheila, Dingo, Kazza and Bricko as they make their way home after a big day and have themselves a bit of a shin dig.

“…….and then I said you owe me fucking money’ Sheila said to the car full of people. Bricko looked over at her ‘It just happened Sheila, we were there with you’. ‘Yeah I fucking know I was just saying Bricko ! God I’m pregnant you know, you should treat me better’ Bricko laughed at that and rolled his eyes at Dingo.

Dingo sat in the back of the car watching the interaction and hoping that Bricko didn’t stir up Sheila. He had to live with her and she could be hell if she didn’t get her way. He eagerly awaited the first drink as the made their way to the supermarket to grab some grog. As they came up to the store Bricko and Dingo turned to each other ….’Um we will stay in the car for this one Sheil’s’ Dingo said. ‘Fuck you’re a useless cunt, Dingo. I’m pregnant ! Hows am I meant to carry my goon bag and cigarettes in the condition I’m in ?’ Sheila asked. Bricko responded ‘Hey Kazza, can you give Sheils a hand…. Dingo and I should probably not go into the supermarket for a couple of weeks’ he continued as he looked over to Dingo with a smile on his face. ‘ Fucking useless’ Sheila yelled as she slammed the door. Kazza turned to the boy ‘Hey guys, I cant kick on tonight sorry. I have to go grab me kid from mum so I will have to drop you guys off and catch up with you later’ She said… Sheila called out ‘ Carn Kazza, I want some ciggies’.

‘All good’ Said Bricko. ‘We appreciate your help today and if you could drop us off at home after grabbing the drinks, we would be forever in your debt’ he smiled. ‘Thanks Bricko’ Kazza flirted as she raced off to stop Sheila from yelling in the back ground.

‘What the fuck was that ?’ Dingo asked. ‘That my friend is called flirting with a beautiful women, my friend’ Bricko said and Dingo started in on him. ‘It’s fucking something alright you fucking dick….oh I love you sweetheart….oh please come over my place so we can smoke bongs….’ Dingo started. ‘Leave it alone Dingo’ Bricko smiled but Dingo continued ‘ You don’t know romance until you meet a girl as classy as Sheila, Bricko’ Dingo said and Bricko couldn’t help himself ‘ Yeah I know what you mean mate, its not true love until you pregnant defacto threatens to glass someone for you’ he laughed and Dingo responded ‘Fucking oath mate, fucking oath’. They both laughed.
It was only a couple of minute before they heard the familiar rantings of Sheila as she left the supermarket yelling at the top of her lungs ‘I didn’t steal nothing you fuck, I’m pregnant you fucking perve…… I paid for these drinks’ she continued as she jumped into the front seat. Kazza jumped in beside her looking flustered as Sheila reached into her tracky daks and pulled out two goon bags…..
‘Fucking accuse me of stealing’ she said and Kazza placed the bought items next to the stolen items and they continued on to Sheilas place……

The leader ‘Pat’ pulled up the front of the house and sad idle in the drive way.
‘Beryls pissed mate’ he said to Rabbit.
‘She nots someone I want on my bad side…..Ive heard some truly frightening stories’ Rabbit responded as they turned on the radio and waited for Kazza to turn up with Sheila, Bricko and Dingo. Rabbit reached over and turned on the radio
‘Police are looking for three men that robbed a local club in Canberra today. After about 5pm this afternoon, three masked men walked into a club armed and demanding money from the reception and bar staff. In their attempt to leave the premises one of the men stumbled and fell into an ATM, injury his leg. The police are on the looking for 3 middle aged males, one with an injured leg and they ask that you do not approach them as they are armed and suspected to be dangerous. They were last seen heading south, in a Holden Commodore…..’. Rabbit and Pat looked at each other ‘Fuck’ they said at the same time. ‘We need to ditch the car’ Pat said.

They quickly started the car and pulled out of the street at the same time that Kazza approached from the opposite side.
‘So since Kazza is piking’ Sheila started ‘ What the plans ?’
‘Well, they are the same as originally planned’ Bricko responded.
‘Yeah but who are you gonna root ?’ She responded.
Bricko was startled by the question.
‘I might be pregnant Bricko, but I aint fucking stupid’ Sheila smiled.
‘ I don’t know what your talking about’ Bricko stumbled. 
“you fucking do, you dirty fuck’ Sheila continued.
“ I saw the way you was looking at her and let me tell you she is keen for it as well’ Sheila looked over at Kazza who was now bright red in the face ‘Fuck me Sheila’
‘Not on your fucking life’ Sheila smiled at Bricko. “I is pregnant with my mans baby’ She said as she smiled at Dingo. Kazza sat in silence as she stopped out the front of the house.

Sheila, Dingo and Bricko jumped out of the car passing on their thanks.
Bricko remained behind as Dingo pulled Sheila toward the house
‘ Don’t root her out the front, Bricko ! Women need some love and care, you should take her to dinner at Red Rooter or something’ She continued as Dingo put his hand over her mouth…..

Bricko stared as Sheila she was dragged into the house and stayed to talk to her.
Dingo opened the front door and pulled Sheila into it.
‘Fuckin Hell Sheila, that was real tactfull of ya. Leave the poor cunt alone’ he said as Sheila stared out the front window. ‘ Stick it in her you romantic fuck !’ She yelled banging on the window and at that Kazza pulled away leaving Bricko walking toward the house.

Bricko walked in the door and stared at Sheila, he thought to himself that even trying to explain to Sheila how inappropriate that was would only fall on deaf ears so he quickly said.
‘Hey Sheils, go get the bong…. I need some pot’
Sheila didn’t think twice as she raced out of the room.
Dingo and Bricko made their way out to the clothes line pegging a goon bag on each of the four corners.

Each corner had a chair placed under it and they sat down waiting for Sheila to return.
Now this was a common game for people of Australia and Boganwood. The rules were simple you spun the clothes line until it stopped and whichever corner you sat on you got whatever shot was inside. The trick was that one of the corners had lolly water under it ‘Sambucca’ which was a liquorice flavoured goon bag and it wasn’t something you wanted to mix with the other wine and ock sucking cowboy bags…..
If you were the first the spew then you would never live it down. See in Boganwood a unique Fad had been created where a picture of you naked was posted on every community board in the city as punishment for losing the game and no one wanted to lose it. The boys sat in the chair preparing themselves for a big night as Sheila raced out the back door.
‘Fucking hell, we have run out of pot’ she said with a stoned look in her eyes.’ We need some more before we fucking start’ she continued and Bricko and Dingo looked at each other. ‘ I’m guessing Bricko and I should be going then to get some then ?’ Dingo asked Sheila. ‘Well I’m fucking pregnant, and cat go, plus Im sure it was you that smoked the last of it’ She yelled. ‘I’m sure it was’ Bricko smiled at Dingo as they got up and made their way to their local dealer….

When would this day fucking end … they thought as they walked up the street.
Sheila pulled out the last of the dope and lit her bong taking the moments peace as someone walked into the back yard. She stared at the people thinking it was Bricko and Dingo back and they had forgotten something. She quickly put the bong down as the figures moved closer and she realised it wasn’t Bricko or Dingo…….

She exhaled the hit

‘What the fuck ? Did the postman finally decide to bring my fucking Centrelink cheque’ she said as the figure moved closer and that when she realised she was in trouble…… again…….

So that where we leave Sheila and the boys as the never ending day continues to get from bad to worse….. but things have a way of working themselves out in Boganwood. Both the good, the bad and definitely the bogan…..

Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the question
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* Is love blossoming for the budding romantic Bricko ?
* And why the fuck is the postman at Sheilas house ?
All this will be answered and more in the continuation of Boganwood Season 2

Boganwood Season 2 Episode 1

Welcome to Boganwood Australia’s Canberra Forgotten suburb

In today’s adventure we get back into the action as we follow Dingo, Bricko and Sheila into the local pub for a few celebratory drinks after finally getting Sheila’s Centrelink cheque.........

Jimbos car sped up the road as a number of thoughts crossed his mind. How the fuck had they found Kazza, shit he had been dodging her for months! It was time he stopped underestimating these fuckers, ever since he had been involved with Dingo and Bricko it had all started to turn to shit.

He tried to work through his next move

Should he move states?
Should he keep running?
Should he just stay the fuck away from Bricko and Dingo ?

No fucking way, he thought as he made his way towards Centrelink. He pulled into the car park, away from the crew sitting in Kazzas car.

Jimbo watched as Sheila got back into the car with Bricko waving around her dole check....
This was far from over he thought, and there was no way he was going to let them get one over on him again. He followed them at a distance on their way to the pub and watched as they all got out of the car, cheering and yahooing............... He watched in silence waiting for an opportunity to arise.

Sheila turned to Bricko ‘So what the fuck did you say to that Centrelink Cunt?’
‘Don’t you worry your sweet head about it Sheila, it’s not something you need to know’ Bricko smiled. ‘Well I don’t fucking care I guess, but it’s time to get some fucking drinking action on’ continued Sheila ‘and then it’s back to our place for some goon bag roulette and a hit of the old faithful bong’

Dingo watched the interaction from behind and couldn’t shake the feeling that everything had been wrapped up in a nice little bow, as usually happens in Boganwood…. Things just have a way of working themselves out …. And that’s when it happened...........
‘ Get the fuck out of the way a masked man yelled running from the pubs open doors, holding a bag and making a B line for the cars. Dingo didn’t know what to do so he quickly moved out of the way as behind the mask man, were another 2 men running with balaclavas on their heads.

The man in the lead didn’t get clear of Dingo quick enough so he dropped his shoulder into him and knocked him over. Sheila started yelling ‘What the fuck are you doing to strange cunt! Get them Bricko, they hurt me love of me life’

Bricko turned as another man ran past him sticking his leg out and knocking him into an ATM. There was a crack and scream so loud it drained out the Bogan ranting of Sheila for just a moment. ‘My fucking leg’ the masked man yelled, the first guy turned back to find one of his men on the ground and he yelled.

‘Grab him for fuck sake and hurry the pigs are on their way’ Bricko raced over to help Dingo up as the masked men helped their friend to his feet screaming and yelling. ‘You fucking Bogans, What the fuck have you done?’ he continued yelling as they made their way through the door.
As the masked man raced out into the car park, Bricko raced over to Dingo.

‘Due to the recent robbery the club will be closing’ an announcement came in over the loud speaker.
‘We ask that all patrons please remain on the premises until the police arrive to take your statements’
‘Fuckin hell’ Sheila yelled. ‘Just because you stupid cunts, can’t hold your money we have to get punished. I’m pregnant you know! Fuck youse all I’m going home to smoke a bong and lighting something on fire’ She yelled as Bricko, Dingo, Sheila and Kazza made their way out of the pub.

Jimbo watched everything that was occurring. He was already out of his car making his way to Kazzas car when the masked men raced over and opened the door to a car next to him.

‘What do you mean you dropped the fucking ignition keys’ The masked man yelled.
‘For fuck sake you stupid cunt, where did you drop them’
‘It was when the fucking Bogans knocked me over’ he cried in pain holding his leg.
‘Hey Rabbit’ the leader called over the car.
‘We need to go back in and get them, help me throw him in the car’ he said as they opened the door and threw the injured man into, throwing the bag of money into the front seat.

The 2 masked men raced back into the pub as Sheila Bricko and Dingo reached Kazza’s car.
‘You owe me money, you stupid fucks’ Sheila yelled over to them. ‘I was gonna win it big on the pokie machine tonite’ She continued as the masked men made their way back into the pub.

The masked men glanced over but decided to ignore her as they raced back into the club looking for the keys.

‘Lets go fucking home, today’s been a bastard of a day and I need a bong hit’ Sheila said to the rest of the Crew. ‘ Sheila I definitely agree with that statement’ Bricko said ‘Considering the cops are on the way and after the day we had, it would be best we head home’ he continued as Kazza started the car and headed towards Sheila and Dingos place.

Jimbo slowly made his way back to his car. It was hard work you know with the busted leg ….. Oh yeah and the bag full of money he had taken from the front seat of the car.

‘Well old Jimbo is about to come out on top’ he said to no one in particular as he got into his car and laughed to himself watching as Dingo, Bricko, Kazza and Sheila sped off. Jimbo started his car and started to drive out of town…. Finally getting away and getting exactly what he deserved……right?
‘There they are’ the masked men yelled as they grabbed the keys sitting next to the ATM and raced back out to the car as the police car sirens headed around the corner. ‘Get in the car’ he yelled. The masked men raced off just as the police rounded the corner and made their way to the club. In their haste they didn’t realise that something important was missing…. No not the unconscious friend in the back of the car…. The bag of money people…..keep up.

It was a couple of minutes up the road, after arguing about where they were going to hide, that they realised the cash wasn’t in the car.

‘Where the fuck is the money’ The leader yelled
‘I was with you, what do you mean where is the money?’ His mate responded as the leader slammed on the brakes racing around to the back door and slapping his mate with the busted leg awake…’ Where’s the money dickhead’ he yelled over and over again as his mate slipped in and out on consciousness. ‘The fucking money, you fucking IDIOT!’ He yelled and he started to slap him harder and harder…….

‘The Bogans, it was the Bogans that did it….’ He mumbled.
‘What do you mean the Bogans!’
‘What Fucking Bogans?’
His mate passed out again and thats when he put it together…. Or so he thought. Sheila said she would get their money and must have taken the chance whilst they were in the pub…..

‘Fucking Sheila!!!!!’ He yelled out loud as he jumped back into the front seat. 
‘I know where she fucking lives’ he yelled to Rabbit who sat in the front seat and started the car up, heading toward Sheila and Dingos place.
Meanwhile across town…….The phone rang, once, twice, three times before it was answered.
‘Hello, this is Beryl how many I help you?’ She asked into the phone listening intently at the person on the other end……
‘Oh hello lovely, and how did you go ? are you ok ? When can I expect my present ??’ Beryl paused waiting for a response……
‘What do you mean you lost the fucking money?’ She yelled
‘What do you mean Sheila has the fucking money!’ She yelled again
‘Get my fucking money Pat or we will have a problem, and you know how I feel about problems!’ She yelled slamming down the phone ……..
“Fucking Sheila….I wants my fucking Club Money!’ Beryl yelled….

So that’s where we leave Sheila, Dingo and Bricko as they head into a big amount of danger. But let’s face it, it’s all a misunderstanding and Beryl seems to be the compassionate type, right?

Well only time will tell. 
So come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the questions

* What will happen to Bricko, Dingo and Sheila?
* How the fuck did Jimbo get so lucky?
* And who the fuck is ‘Pat’?

Come back to Boganwood, Canberra’s forgotten suburb and all this will be answered and more in season 2 and remember what they say in Boganwood…
‘Fosters ! Who the fuck drinks that warm camels piss ??’