Boganwood Season 2 Episode 2

Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberras forgotten suburb.
In todays adventure we check back in on Sheila, Dingo, Kazza and Bricko as they make their way home after a big day and have themselves a bit of a shin dig.

“…….and then I said you owe me fucking money’ Sheila said to the car full of people. Bricko looked over at her ‘It just happened Sheila, we were there with you’. ‘Yeah I fucking know I was just saying Bricko ! God I’m pregnant you know, you should treat me better’ Bricko laughed at that and rolled his eyes at Dingo.

Dingo sat in the back of the car watching the interaction and hoping that Bricko didn’t stir up Sheila. He had to live with her and she could be hell if she didn’t get her way. He eagerly awaited the first drink as the made their way to the supermarket to grab some grog. As they came up to the store Bricko and Dingo turned to each other ….’Um we will stay in the car for this one Sheil’s’ Dingo said. ‘Fuck you’re a useless cunt, Dingo. I’m pregnant ! Hows am I meant to carry my goon bag and cigarettes in the condition I’m in ?’ Sheila asked. Bricko responded ‘Hey Kazza, can you give Sheils a hand…. Dingo and I should probably not go into the supermarket for a couple of weeks’ he continued as he looked over to Dingo with a smile on his face. ‘ Fucking useless’ Sheila yelled as she slammed the door. Kazza turned to the boy ‘Hey guys, I cant kick on tonight sorry. I have to go grab me kid from mum so I will have to drop you guys off and catch up with you later’ She said… Sheila called out ‘ Carn Kazza, I want some ciggies’.

‘All good’ Said Bricko. ‘We appreciate your help today and if you could drop us off at home after grabbing the drinks, we would be forever in your debt’ he smiled. ‘Thanks Bricko’ Kazza flirted as she raced off to stop Sheila from yelling in the back ground.

‘What the fuck was that ?’ Dingo asked. ‘That my friend is called flirting with a beautiful women, my friend’ Bricko said and Dingo started in on him. ‘It’s fucking something alright you fucking dick….oh I love you sweetheart….oh please come over my place so we can smoke bongs….’ Dingo started. ‘Leave it alone Dingo’ Bricko smiled but Dingo continued ‘ You don’t know romance until you meet a girl as classy as Sheila, Bricko’ Dingo said and Bricko couldn’t help himself ‘ Yeah I know what you mean mate, its not true love until you pregnant defacto threatens to glass someone for you’ he laughed and Dingo responded ‘Fucking oath mate, fucking oath’. They both laughed.
It was only a couple of minute before they heard the familiar rantings of Sheila as she left the supermarket yelling at the top of her lungs ‘I didn’t steal nothing you fuck, I’m pregnant you fucking perve…… I paid for these drinks’ she continued as she jumped into the front seat. Kazza jumped in beside her looking flustered as Sheila reached into her tracky daks and pulled out two goon bags…..
‘Fucking accuse me of stealing’ she said and Kazza placed the bought items next to the stolen items and they continued on to Sheilas place……

The leader ‘Pat’ pulled up the front of the house and sad idle in the drive way.
‘Beryls pissed mate’ he said to Rabbit.
‘She nots someone I want on my bad side…..Ive heard some truly frightening stories’ Rabbit responded as they turned on the radio and waited for Kazza to turn up with Sheila, Bricko and Dingo. Rabbit reached over and turned on the radio
‘Police are looking for three men that robbed a local club in Canberra today. After about 5pm this afternoon, three masked men walked into a club armed and demanding money from the reception and bar staff. In their attempt to leave the premises one of the men stumbled and fell into an ATM, injury his leg. The police are on the looking for 3 middle aged males, one with an injured leg and they ask that you do not approach them as they are armed and suspected to be dangerous. They were last seen heading south, in a Holden Commodore…..’. Rabbit and Pat looked at each other ‘Fuck’ they said at the same time. ‘We need to ditch the car’ Pat said.

They quickly started the car and pulled out of the street at the same time that Kazza approached from the opposite side.
‘So since Kazza is piking’ Sheila started ‘ What the plans ?’
‘Well, they are the same as originally planned’ Bricko responded.
‘Yeah but who are you gonna root ?’ She responded.
Bricko was startled by the question.
‘I might be pregnant Bricko, but I aint fucking stupid’ Sheila smiled.
‘ I don’t know what your talking about’ Bricko stumbled. 
“you fucking do, you dirty fuck’ Sheila continued.
“ I saw the way you was looking at her and let me tell you she is keen for it as well’ Sheila looked over at Kazza who was now bright red in the face ‘Fuck me Sheila’
‘Not on your fucking life’ Sheila smiled at Bricko. “I is pregnant with my mans baby’ She said as she smiled at Dingo. Kazza sat in silence as she stopped out the front of the house.

Sheila, Dingo and Bricko jumped out of the car passing on their thanks.
Bricko remained behind as Dingo pulled Sheila toward the house
‘ Don’t root her out the front, Bricko ! Women need some love and care, you should take her to dinner at Red Rooter or something’ She continued as Dingo put his hand over her mouth…..

Bricko stared as Sheila she was dragged into the house and stayed to talk to her.
Dingo opened the front door and pulled Sheila into it.
‘Fuckin Hell Sheila, that was real tactfull of ya. Leave the poor cunt alone’ he said as Sheila stared out the front window. ‘ Stick it in her you romantic fuck !’ She yelled banging on the window and at that Kazza pulled away leaving Bricko walking toward the house.

Bricko walked in the door and stared at Sheila, he thought to himself that even trying to explain to Sheila how inappropriate that was would only fall on deaf ears so he quickly said.
‘Hey Sheils, go get the bong…. I need some pot’
Sheila didn’t think twice as she raced out of the room.
Dingo and Bricko made their way out to the clothes line pegging a goon bag on each of the four corners.

Each corner had a chair placed under it and they sat down waiting for Sheila to return.
Now this was a common game for people of Australia and Boganwood. The rules were simple you spun the clothes line until it stopped and whichever corner you sat on you got whatever shot was inside. The trick was that one of the corners had lolly water under it ‘Sambucca’ which was a liquorice flavoured goon bag and it wasn’t something you wanted to mix with the other wine and ock sucking cowboy bags…..
If you were the first the spew then you would never live it down. See in Boganwood a unique Fad had been created where a picture of you naked was posted on every community board in the city as punishment for losing the game and no one wanted to lose it. The boys sat in the chair preparing themselves for a big night as Sheila raced out the back door.
‘Fucking hell, we have run out of pot’ she said with a stoned look in her eyes.’ We need some more before we fucking start’ she continued and Bricko and Dingo looked at each other. ‘ I’m guessing Bricko and I should be going then to get some then ?’ Dingo asked Sheila. ‘Well I’m fucking pregnant, and cat go, plus Im sure it was you that smoked the last of it’ She yelled. ‘I’m sure it was’ Bricko smiled at Dingo as they got up and made their way to their local dealer….

When would this day fucking end … they thought as they walked up the street.
Sheila pulled out the last of the dope and lit her bong taking the moments peace as someone walked into the back yard. She stared at the people thinking it was Bricko and Dingo back and they had forgotten something. She quickly put the bong down as the figures moved closer and she realised it wasn’t Bricko or Dingo…….

She exhaled the hit

‘What the fuck ? Did the postman finally decide to bring my fucking Centrelink cheque’ she said as the figure moved closer and that when she realised she was in trouble…… again…….

So that where we leave Sheila and the boys as the never ending day continues to get from bad to worse….. but things have a way of working themselves out in Boganwood. Both the good, the bad and definitely the bogan…..

Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the question
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* Is love blossoming for the budding romantic Bricko ?
* And why the fuck is the postman at Sheilas house ?
All this will be answered and more in the continuation of Boganwood Season 2