Boganwood Season 2 Episode 3

Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberra’s forgotten suburb
In today’s adventure we check back in on the luckiest man alive as he makes his way out of town for good……… the now very wealthy Jimbo.

Jimbo stares at the back of money, very chuffed with himself over his luck !
Finally he thought, I finally got what was coming to me he thought….. how could things get any better ?
He had his money and the furtherest thing from his mind was Sheila, Dingo and Bricko……. And poor old Kazza with his young child.
Jimbo continued down the road and reached over to turn the radio on, he felt good and a bit of Jimmy Barnes would wash down the day in near perfect fashion.
He turned on the radio and was about to push in the cassette tape single he had of ‘Khe San’ when up ahead he spotted a road block with cars lined up being searched by police officers. The radio continued to play as Jimbo moved forward, all he had to do was get through the police and he was home free…… all the money he could want, without the work….. Brilliant he thought with a smile on his face….. He reached back down to push the cassette into the player when he heard the news bulletin……

‘Police are looking for three men that robbed a local club in Canberra today.’ …. ‘
I bet they fucking are’ Jimbo laughed to himself.
‘After about 5pm this afternoon’ the radio continued…. ‘three masked men walked into a club armed and demanding money from the reception and bar staff. ‘
‘Blood amateurs’ he laughed again, making his way up the line getting closer to the police barricade. Jimbo sat smugly moving forward and took a look at the bag in the passenger seat. ‘Should probably get rid of that’ he said aloud as he threw it into the back seat…

‘In their attempt to leave the premises one of the men stumbled and fell into an ATM, injury his leg.’
The radio continues as Jimbo moved another car closer to the cops.
‘The police are on the looking for 3 middle aged males, one with an injured leg and they ask that you do not approach them as they are armed and suspected to be dangerous. They were last seen heading south, in a Holden Commodore…..’

Jimbo looked down at his leg then up at the cops and thought to himself…… they couldn’t be that stupid could they ? He didn’t do anything……. Jimbo had a decision to make….. he was driving a Holden…..But shit they were searching every car, not just holdens……. he also had a busted leg……. And he had a bag full of money in his car……. What the fuck was he going to do ? The car in front of him pulled closer to the line of cops searching the cars as Jimbo sat in the car with a time bomb about to go off……. And that’s when it happened………..

Dingo and Bricko made their way over to a mates place to get some weed not giving any passing thought to the situation that was happening with Sheila and poor old Jimbo…. What did they know ? When they had left Sheila she was sitting in the back yard waiting on her men to return with some more dope…… and lets face it…. No one really thought about Jimbo unless he was harassing them. They continued up the path moving closer and closer to their friends house.

‘What a fucking day’ Dingo said to Bricko.
‘Yeah Mate, I have to admit…. With the amount of work we did today it would have been easier just to get a fucking job….’ He said back to Dingo..
Dingo laughed and they both looked at each other…..
‘Nah fuck that for a joke’ they both said at the same time laughing ……
They continued up the road and made their way to their mates house, recapping the crap they had gone through and how their Bogan luck had kicked in again.
‘Hey mate, what did you say to the Centrelink bloke ?’ Dingo asked Bricko.
‘Sheila said you was talking to him and she couldn’t hear ya, he went white and next thing you knew the cheque was on its way’
‘Mate’ Bricko responded ‘Sometimes there are things are best to remain unsaid’ he laughed….’ But someday I may tell you…..’ he laughed as Dingo made his way up to the door of their mate.
Dingo knocked on the door….
‘Who the fuck is it’ a voice yelled from the door
‘Micko you drunken Giraffe, Open the fucking door’ Dingo yelled.
Micko opened the door a crack and stared out….’Ah fuck me, you skinny bogan cunt how the fuck are ya ?’ he said as he opened it wide and shook his hand….. ‘My best customers, Sheilas own little fucking lap dogs’ he laughed….. ‘Hey, he might be, but I aint’ Bricko clarified….’Mate, We are all Sheila’s fucking lapdogs’ Micko laughed and Brick and Dingo joined in.
“What can I do you guys for ?’ Micko asked.
‘Mate we need a taste of your old tomato plant if you would be so kind…’ Dingo said.
‘Mate what would you like it laced with ?’ Micko asked
‘I will take it straight’ Dingo responded
‘The same way he takes him men’ bricko laughed with Micko joining in.
‘Sheilas fucking pregnant and we want to be careful’ Dingo responded in a snarking way.
‘yeah mate, I understand’ Micko said… ‘but we have a wee bit of a problem with that order, I’m sorry’……

……The car in front of him moved forward as Jimbo moved closer and closer to the line of cars and Jimbo was fucked…. And not in the good way……

…. The postman walked closed to Sheila ‘What the fuck ? Did the postman finally decide to bring my Centrelink cheque’ she said as the figure moved closer. He was only metre away when she noticed that he had something in his hand……..

‘What do you mean your out of standard shit’ Dingo looked shockingly at Micko….
‘Mate, I don’t mean to be a dick about your misses but since she has gotten ‘Pregnant’ she has been in and out of this place every day buying up my stock’
‘Fucking Sheila’ Dingo said…. But lets face it he wasn’t surprised really….

‘Well mate, Im sorry but I can get you a cheap gram of coke or something’ Micko tried to counter deal….

‘What do I look like to you ?’ Dingo asked ‘A drug fucked loser ?’ Dingo continued….. ‘I have fucking standard you know mate and I don’t touch that shit’ he yelled at Micko.
‘I don’t mean any offense by it’ Micko back pedalled….

‘What if I gave you the location of a place to get some plants ?’ Micko asked
‘How far is it’ Dingo asked
‘Well it aint far from the address, but Im not sure of anything else it was given to me by a another mate and I haven’t had a chance to check it out’ he said.
‘And where is this so called place ?’ Dingo asked with Bricko listening intently……

….. Sheila its time we had a chat the postman said as he moved closer.
‘I have someone that would like to talk to you’ he said as Rabbit moved behind her and grabbed her from behind.
‘Get your fucking hands off me you rapey cunt’ Sheila yelled !

….. Jimbo stared at the cops out the window… he had to think quick….. what could he do ? The cops were moving closer and he needed to get out of this situation and quickly. He looked to the left and spotted someone he didn’t think he would ever see again……

So that’s where we leave everyone’s favourite bogans for this week as they go about their own business trying to work through their problems in an attempt to get back to the game of Goon Roulette……oh yeah and a lovely little bong hit……

So come back to Boganwood to find the answer to the questions

* What will happen to Sheila ?
* Shouldn’t someone tell Bricko and Dingo that Sheilas in trouble ?
* And who the fuck did Jimbo see ??
All this and more will be answered in the next episodes of Boganwood Season 2 and remember what they say in Boganwood……

‘Fair suck of the old sav, mate where’s my fucking tinnie ?’